Mammogram Preparation
The importance of regular mammograms should never be forgotten! There are many women who are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test. Best of all, these simple practice exercises can be done in the comfort of your own home.
Exercise 1:Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat the exercise for the other breast.
Exercise 2:Visit your garage at approximately 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Remove your clothes from the waist up and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of a car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn and repeat exercise for the other breast.
Exercise 3:Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as possible. Repeat exercise for the other breast.
You are now properly prepared for your mammogram.
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1 comment:
"Mommy, why is that lady half naked and lying under a car tire?"
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