Upsetting the Apple Cart

I have been a computer nerd for a very long time. From writing code on an Apple Macintosh in high school to CAD/design for a polystyrene manufacturer before my nursing career, I've always been awed and amazed by what these bad boys could do. Ten years ago, I got my first home computer and discovered the web. HOLY MOTHERBOARDS, BATMAN!

I was in the throes of post-partum depression and a divorce looming on the horizon; in a matter of days, I had found a whole new world and made friends across the globe-several of which I have met IRL and/or still correspond with today. Over time, I have evolved from AOL chat to Yahoo, and now I couldn't tell you the last time I chatted online...with the exception of Facebook. There were days/weeks/months/years of coming home from work, getting online until the wee hours of the morning, sleeping a couple of hours, lather, rinse, repeat. And don't even think of pointing a self-righteous finger at me. It kept me alive. That's all that was giving me the drive to go to work, to get out of bed another day, to come home to my family-my life in the virtual world. Until you have experienced overwhelming, mind-numbing clinical depression, don't you dare judge me. I read in a blog the other day where a mom was freaking out because she found out her ex's wife was on an anti-depressant and Xanax (for ANXIETY), and called her "bipolar'. Get educated before you throw stones...I was on anti-depressants for almost 15 years before I could 'make it on my own.' I have "friends" (I use that term loosely these days) that have family members in this situation, or have themselves suffered nervous breakdowns. My doc was kind enough to recently put me back on Xanax for my temper(or lack thereof)..which in all honesty, I should have taken before I got out of bed this morning.

A few years ago, I discovered blogs. Totally awesome. A chance to peek into someone else's psyche and see what makes them click. A new sense of humor that will leave you literally rolling on the floor laughing your ass off. A situation that will keep you up at night until you reach out to touch that soul on the other end of the screen and try to give them a shoulder to lean on. And sometimes, someone would reach out to me. However, there is one that has been more like a family reunion than a mere blog. At first, there were a handful of us that would meet up every morning on there (if we could without getting fired!) and check in throughout the day. Later, we started checking in after work. Now, it's almost like The Waltons with our "Goodnight John Boy" mentality.

Over the years, folks have come and gone...a couple of times, some have come in looking for a fight, and boy have they found one. We are usually very protective of each other and our fearless leader. We've been through so much together. Usually when someone has decided to leave, it's been like a gentle weaning...they show up less and less, until we no longer see them. And that's cool...much better than announcing it. So please, do us a favor..instead of stirring the pot, just go. We don't need an obituary. Those who want to keep in touch with you will...and the rest of us won't feel like we have been bitch-slapped.

This post brought to you by Bronchitis, the fever-bringer-onner. I know I am making a mountain out of a molehill, but when I am sick, my emotions and my nerves are very raw. Oh, and BTW, I didn't appreciate getting called out for not getting 'permission' to make an announcement the other day. Beat me with a wet noodle.